Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
MIDGETS
????
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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