Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
