No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
