where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
