she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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