You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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