We're facebook friends in real life
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
