Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
