I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
