I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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