What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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