He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
