All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
