Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
