so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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