Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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