i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
