In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
