i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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