whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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