And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
