i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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