Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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