I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
