I look better un-naked...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
