why do cheetos always look like penises
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
