it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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