I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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