god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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