Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you would pick up someone in the library
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
