Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This baby is an asshole
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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