i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
