Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You made out with two different species that night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
