What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
