I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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