you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
