yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
North Korea, Best Korea!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
