he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize