Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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