I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
