So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
