guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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