everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
