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My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
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