Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
