I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
