i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
