I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
