i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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