Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
