That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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