HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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