There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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