can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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