get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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