Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
