id be glad to
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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